I want to be by Angela Swanson

I want to be—full of love

because I know I am already—I—  

want to be soothed by the sun and the moon—and the trees and the dogs—slowly

mending and making myself

so that I can feel the healing from everything hurtful in my own experience of humanity

but especially the brutal shock to my soul

that was supposed to be expected—NO—IT WAS NOT.

No matter how many times we’ve been told

I don’t think anyone expects to be broken by love or death until—one day, month, year or minute —we are—

Suddenly we must use that same love and that death as tools to fix ourselves over and over—we are tired, the concept of fairness does not exist outside our minds—BUT—work— at least the healing kind of work—is good—then

when we see our brokenness reflected again, we say to ourselves “Yep, I’ve been there before, I know now, I have I PhD in it.”

 That love I’m full of is what

 I must be a renowned expert about

and I’ll do that full time job for free

because

 I want to be happy, and I want to be me