I am thinking  

Of love and beauty

 

Freedom and truth too

Though it hurts more than I used to think it would

 

 

 

I am

Embracing myself

I am

Reading my thoughts

I am

Creating my life as I stubbornly insist

 

On writing these words despite

 A sky of that might be falling or already fallen

A “we— are—society” were only capitalism, power,

 and some strange ideas of religion

 

really seem to matter sometimes—

I mean other peoples feelings matter—at least to me—

 But not mine

 

I am

 Disliking stress and anxiety

 

 

But I am defiantly watching

 For the possibilities

Of making art-good or not —of

Befriending the wolf inside me and

 

Finding some peace for her

 

I am

Thinking about beauty

 On a Sunday afternoon

Speaking of beauty, I miss my love

 

 All the time

 

 

Dear love, my lover

My sweetheart, my baby, the one all the songs are about

I hope you know you are on my mind

But I keep on wishing to look in your eyes and tell you

To be with you impossibly now

More than ever

I try but I swear I don’t know how

 

 

 

To stop.

 

 

This poem has already gotten away from me

 It might be too long for anybody else

 

To hear the music in it

 

But you

 

 

Because I started talking to you, of course, naturally

 And that would make you happy

 

You would be happy anytime I got a chance to smile

  To be glad that

 

 I am alive

 

 

Enough as I am

 

 I can handle my life, even as the tears do fall

And survive somehow without you

Everything is fine

Even when it feels like

Too much

 

I’ll be all right if I know that

 

The way you so often did

 Of course you would be singing in a hospital

And have us all dong it too

 

If you could do that, I will give you a big brave smile

 

 

 I can do this! —- I can

 I’m going to be

 OK like I told you—I love you always__ I promise

I Can be better than ever or just me

 Loving myself the way you loved me

 Through it all – not perfect—- just me

 

 

But along with any thought

 Any word

Any way

For the love of

Anybody alive

 I will still miss my baby

 All the time

 

You, my love, are the greatest beauty of my life