Destiny doesn’t mean a thing

 I’m not a girl at all-anymore. I’m an

 OFF the mark

              OUT of lines

Angry , loving

Forgetful             silly

Intelligent kind of woman

—I did not go to Yale like my father did—- 

My brain got annoyingly damaged at birth…

 

 Though my education was perfectly good

Emotions, emails, and phone messages

Are so much harder to manage than books—

 

 

My expectations for myself

 

Seem higher

Than I

     Can reach lately      ?

But what if it’s

Just more underestimation?

 

 

I  have failed miserably at many things

 But I loved a man successfully

 Why don’t you just figure that riddle out?

 

 I may not know much

 I never know enough

 

But I do know love and love  is what this

 Life is about

 

  Shhh

 

No more things

If I stay quiet and keep writing, I might

Be high King of the moon

  The keys to freedom

The trees and the hugs

 

 “What is she talking about?”

I don’t know what I was about to say

 

 But love is going to have to be enough

Or I’m not not going to make it—-

Love, quiet ,writing and peace—

 Putting others before explanation and anger

But not so much that you become…

 

Everything they think and worse__

 

 Breath

 

 Love

 

Peace

 

Even if it is no where around us—

 

Trump is not funny, but people are funny about Trump—-

It all would have been funnier if he had lost

 

 I endorsed Kamala Harris and still do

For being smart and caring even a little bit

 IF anyone cares

 

 Sometimes heart emojis

 They make me cry

 

 Crying

 Without speaking — tone

That automatically upsets__

Words that hurt and inevitably confuse—

 

Must be fine

I have a lifetime pass for tears remember

 

 

Shh

Quiet

I say to the riotous ,ruinous noise in my mind

There is peace in silence

Or a chosen song that plays over and over

 

 

 

 I must be a mess,

 

Destiny doesn’t mean a thing

It’s more like privilege

 Accident,gift, or stubborn survival

Of me and of whole families and communities

 

I hear someone saying

 Work!

Loudly

 

 

Yes, that too

sometimes work is what survival is

Sometimes it is what art is

 

 

But somehow

 

I  am high King

of even this life without him in my blood

 and I say love has got to be enough